release for life?

By | August 8, 2006

Release for Life — sounds a bit kinky, no?

There are lots of sites out there to keep an hopeful ex-smoker occupied. I know, I should be sleeping but here I am. I’m trolling the web for smoking information — or rather, quit smoking information.

Nope, I didn’t smoke today — or yesterday — or the day before….ugh…

I’m doing very well but I think about smoking every minute. Well, maybe not every minute but very very often. The nicotine should be out of my system by now. At this point it’s just mental. Or I’m mental.

I’ve read that the key to lasting freedom from this addiction lies in changing my relationship to smoking.

Oh man, my relationship! I hate relationship issues. I love to smoke (love=relationship) but I just can’t anymore because it is very bad for my health (we gotta break up). Very bad. Nothing could be worse except perhaps crack.

The thinking is that if one quits smoking by sheer willpower (like I did and continue to do each day) and believes somewhere in the back of their mind that they’re sacrificing something good — the chances are very high that they will eventually relapse.

Oh man, I do feel like I’m sacrificing but I know full well that it’s not something good I’m giving up. But still I feel it’s a sacrifice. Stupid, huh?

An ex-smoker with this mindset can potentially abstain for years and years, but they will always miss smoking (like I do every minute) and they will continue to think of it as a fix when times of stress or other potential triggers come along.

Geez that’s me. I can not-smoke (I’m not smoking at this very moment but I did drink a little wine from a tetra pack thanks to my best pal K.).

I’ m doing it but I am not happy about it…and this is bad news. This needs to stop.
I need to change my thinking….

Not:

I loved to smoke. It was relaxing and refreshing … I miss it so.

But rather:

Smoking was killing me. It’s not really relaxing or refreshing. Certs are refreshing. Lemon tea is refreshing. Smoking is a powerful physical addiction that will kill 50% of smokers. It’s vile and deadly.

(And no, I can’t go thinking I might be one of those spared (like I used to) the health effects. I have bad luck in general. Karma’s a bitch).

I think I need hypnosis. I can keep this up (it’s very hard but not impossible) but I can’t stand going the rest of my life missing something I know is so horrid.

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