Heard all over the city on the first warm day of Spring: “Oh, let’s find a patio!”…. and every nice day thereafter until the first frost.
I’ll sit on a patio and I’ll have a few drinks. Maybe a snack or even a bigger bite, too. But I won’t be happy. (I’ll look happy enough though because I’m good at that.)
I hate drinking or dining outside. Here’s why:
- It’s usually too hot.
- You can bet it’ll be too humid, too.
- A sunburned nose is likely.
- All of the above trying to get into my food/drink and/or on my person.
- People talk very loudly when socializing outdoors — sure this makes eavesdropping easier than usual but the conversations are rarely interesting.
- Seating is usually much less comfortable on the beloved patios of our city.
- Servers on patios are more apt to say “Hi guys, what can I get you.” I hate being called guy. I prefer gals or ladies. In mixed company, just “Hi, what can I get you.” works well. Servers: you is plural — you can just leave it at that.
- Napkins and a breeze — not a good mix
I also hate eating outside at BBQ’s and don’t even mention camping. But I’m a ton of fun otherwise. Invite me over for a drink — you’ll see.