Hanging onto resentment is letting someone you despise live rent-free in your head. Except when it’s not.

By | December 12, 2014

It’s almost Christmas — what better time to talk about holding grudges?

Yeah, yeah, people talk about how holding a grudge is like letting someone live rent free in your head. Esther Lederer — “Ann Landers” — actually said:

“Hanging onto resentment is letting someone you despise live rent-free in your head.”

She meant people you really, really loathe. And I agree, holding on to that type of angst is not great for living a balanced and happy life. This forgiveness business is thing — the mental health professionals have it all figured out. Oprah (who is not a mental health professional) has something to say about it, too.

But.

Yeah, I have a but.

Sure, I have let go of past grudges — I don’t loathe anyone (really) and no one has that kind of power over my inner thoughts.

But low-level grudges? They don’t consume me or eat at my sense of well-being, but I have them — in fact I nurture them.

Double cross or disrespect me (at play, work or at the mall) and I won’t forget. Oh, I will be civil and polite and above all very professional. But I won’t forget.

grudge-match

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