Damn you, socks of unhappiness!

By | January 17, 2012

I like to wear knee socks. There’s nothing worse than a short sock slipping down past the tops of your boots. Well, there are worse things, but this ranks very high on my list of petty annoyances.

But have you every tried to buy good quality knee socks that don’t lose interest in their one job of staying up? I have tried. And I have failed time and time again.

So I made a resolution to fire the socks that do me wrong. Goodbye miserable socks of lacking elastic.

If I wear a pair that slithers down my calves during the day, I will not put them in the hamper. No, I will put them straight into the garbage can. There is no sense in keeping socks that make me unhappy.

So far I have tossed seven pairs of socks. Yes, seven.

I am running out of socks at this point. I only have a few pairs that are working hard for me. I have resorted to wearing my second-tier, shorter socks. I hate short socks, they make me feel naked below the knees.

I need to buy some new socks. But the thing is, you can never tell in the store if a sock is going stay the distance or if it will let you down like a poor household cleaner that promised shine, but in reality, lacks cleaning gusto…okay, that may be another one of my issues. But back to disappointing socks.

I need to go shopping this weekend for new socks to replace the ones that have met their demise. And this time I will not skimp. I will buy the best socks money can buy. I will not spend another day in bunched up misery. I will not.

I also need a hand vacuum with a rotating brush. That sounds simple right? About as simple as buying socks, right? Um, no. Nothing is simple in my world.

I spend last weekend walking to Sears, the Future Shop, Canadian Tire and the Bay looking for such a vacuum.

No luck! I know they exist, I used to own a Dirt Devil with a brush that could peel paint off the walls. But it eventually died; I like to vacuum a lot and it collapsed from exhaustion.

I may need to order it online, unless I want to travel to a Walmart in the suburbs tha claims to have them in stock. And I can’t walk that far with uncooperative socks.

Maybe it’s time to buy a car….and socks….and a vacuum….and I’ve had my eye on a new pair of jeans, too.

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