bookmark_borderAre they happy?

I’ve been a little hard to deal with lately — I quit smoking, walk 4.8 kilometres (about 3 miles) everyday and eat a lot more fruit and vegetables than I thought possible.

Smell me and pass the kale!

In this personal journey towards self-actualization (I have also taken to speaking in a New Agey way) I have discovered a new personal truth — this new healthy living kinda sucks a little. Not a lot. A little. But enough to qualify as sucking.

Yeah, people who tell you otherwise are lying. Those green-tea-drinking, yoga-bending, meditating and most likely non-meat-eating people may all be pink and shiny inside but are they happy?

They say they are. Maybe they really are. They sure seem happy.

I don’t think I have joined their ranks yet. I am not any more happy than I ever was and I miss poutine, smokes and sitting on my ass.

At least I still have the booze.

bookmark_borderScammed

I’ve been on a bit of a health kick.

I figured that I’m about halfway thought my life — if I am lucky — and I didn’t want to spend what time I’ve got left wheezing and unable to get out of my recliner.

Actually, I never did wheeze (I do have a recliner but I don’t spend all my time lounging around) and I always felt pretty well but I was worried I could turn the corner at any moment. I have been lucky.

There was also my doctor telling me that my acid reflux would get better if I lost weight.

So now I’m walking over an hour every day — to and from work. I’m also eating a ton of fruits and vegetables and generally trying to cook healthy yet tasty meals.

And?

I’m thinner sure but I feel exactly the same. I still have acid reflux and I still don’t leap out of bed filled with energy. My knees still hurt if I run up or down the stairs and I think I have a cavity.

So I’m gonna stop this baloney now. It’s not working.

It’s a scam, man.